It’s Ok, You’re Human

Some thoughts for today:

At the end of the day, you’re human. You make mistakes and that’s ok. Just learn from them. You are blooming and becoming and growing so much.

It’s ok. It’s ok to take time for yourself. Take time to just be. Relax and enjoy the life you have. The little moments. The big moments. The struggles and successes. Celebrate all you’ve done, the good and the bad. Because that bad stuff? It’s shaped you into who you are. It’s something you can learn from, and it’s something you can grow from.

This life you’ve got is not going to be perfect. And it doesn’t have to be.

Maybe you saved a bee from being squished or you graduated college. Both are great accomplishments. Small or big, they are accomplishments nonetheless. Maybe you had a really hard day and you got out of bed, even if it was brief. That’s a great accomplishment. Maybe you had a really hard day and you didn’t get out of bed. That’s ok, you’re doing great.

You may be a work in progress but you’re a wonderful work in progress.

It’s ok not to be ok. You may never be ok and that’s totally fine. But be happy, please try. That’s all I ask of you. Even if it’s small, be happy.

You’ll be just fine. I believe in you. All that’s left is for you to believe in yourself.

It’s ok. You’re human.

x Stefani

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Reaching Out For Help Is Very Brave

It happened on a Monday.

In high school, there was someone who I had a huge crush on. One day I asked him if he would date me.

He said, “I would date you if I didn’t already have a girlfriend.”

One year later he was single. So I asked him again if he would date me. He said, “No. We should remain friends.”

Almost immediately after I called my dad, even though school was still in session. I told him, “Dad, I need you to come pick me up right now. I’m going to kill myself and I need to go to the hospital before I do.”

He dropped everything and got to my school in about 40 minutes.

I was at the psych ward in the hospital for a week. I was back at school by Monday. I was embarrassed because the guy I had a crush on probably thought I was a coward. He probably thought I was hiding from him. But he didn’t know the situation.

He didn’t know I struggle with self-harm, that I have struggled since I was 11. He didn’t know I was suicidal. He didn’t know I felt betrayed, and lying about wanting to date me would push me over the edge. He didn’t know how close I was to killing myself. He didn’t know.

He didn’t know that I was actually very brave. He didn’t know I reached out for help. He didn’t know how strong I was, and that it took everything in me to admit I needed to go to the hospital. He didn’t know that I didn’t want help, but there was a tiny part of me, the smallest part of me that knew I needed help.

He doesn’t know I’m married now. He doesn’t know I no longer struggle with self-harm or suicidal thoughts and actions. He doesn’t know that God saved my life. He doesn’t know that the last time I wanted to kill myself I was 19 and I had a thorough plan, but my husband (boyfriend at the time) found out and talked me out of it for over 5 hours, straight. He doesn’t know that the only reason my husband found out was because I reached out for help.

Life is so worth living. Life is full of ups and downs but it doesn’t have to be perfect for you to be happy. Life is rewarding in so many ways. There is hope, there is love, there is so many people who care for you. When you’re depressed it’s really hard to see that, but it’s true.

You are brave, you are strong, you are brilliant, you are loving and worthy of love. You are hardship, you are strength, you are courage. You are a warrior, one who has survived battle after battle. You will survive this battle too. So don’t give up. Reach out. Help is here for you.

 

If you or someone you know is struggling, please, reach out.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1.800.273.8255

x Stefani

Introduction

Good morning! My name is Stefani.

A little about myself: right now, I am a student in college. I aim to become an author one day. I want to start my own business selling artwork I make and photographs I take. I’m learning how to dance, mainly contemporary, and I want to perform one day (maybe even on the television show So You Think You Can Dance? if it’s still airing by the time I am ready to perform).

These are my passions in life. Photography, writing, drawing, and dancing. In this blog I will share these passions of mine with you. And I’ll also include a few personal rambles from time to time, of course.

I hope you enjoy this blog, just as much as I enjoy making it.